


Of want and need

by Melacka



Series: Of want and need [2]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Desire, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, F/M, Flirting, Light Angst, Mild Smut, Mutual Pining, Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-08-21 13:43:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16577621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melacka/pseuds/Melacka
Summary: “So, what do you need?”“Well, it’s less a question of what I need and more a question of what I want,” Red said cheerfully.“Oh?” Liz said uneasily. “And what do you want?”Red and Liz discuss the nature of wants and needs.





	1. Culinary Satisfaction

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kind of a half-sequel to a fic I wrote ages ago, Human. I've created a series so you can easily find it if you want to read it before this one, but it's really not necessary. There are some references to the previous fic in this one, but you can certainly read this one without first reading that one if you prefer.
> 
> So briefly, in Human: Red played piano, Liz was confused and torn, there was some flirting. Intriguing, no? Read it if you want, otherwise, onward!

Liz winced as she stopped at yet another traffic light on her seemingly endless journey home. It had been an extraordinarily frustrating week for her, filled with leads that went nowhere on a case that didn’t really matter anyway, far too much paperwork and not nearly enough sleep. She was so close to home she could _feel_ the comfortable clothes and _taste_ the Chinese food. She had no intention of even thinking about work for the next 48 hours. She was going to have a real weekend for once. In the back of her mind, she knew that her desperation for some time off would almost guarantee a summons back to the post office or, more likely, from Red, but she just couldn’t stop the foolish hope from blossoming in her chest. All she wanted to do right now was make it through this interminable journey, change into her comfiest clothes and watch a movie while gorging herself on far too much food. She’d done her time, she’d earned her rest. It wasn’t asking too much, surely.

Apparently, it _was_ too much to ask because Nick’s Pizza flashed up on her phone just as she pulled into her street.

“What a surprise,” she muttered to herself.

She opened the message reluctantly to see an address downtown that she knew all too well and a single word beneath it: _hurry_.

Feeling a horrible sense of déjà vu, Liz groaned out loud and considered just ignoring the message. She could pretend that she’d accidentally left her phone on silent, or accidentally left it in the car, or accidentally stomped on it repeatedly with her boot. She knew that none of these excuses would be sufficient, of course, and Red would just turn up at her place within the hour if she didn’t respond. He might even have Dembe kick in the door, just to make a point. She wondered if it was worth going home to at least change into some comfortable shoes, but she came to the conclusion that entering her home would just make it that much harder to leave again. So, sighing deeply and praying for patience, she turned her car around and started toward the address of Red’s safe-house.

* * * * *

When she finally pulled up in front of the building 45 minutes later, her feet had reached a whole new level of pain. Her patience had been freshly tested by inexplicable road works and inconvenient diversions had sent her on a scenic tour of the city that she really could’ve done without. She hobbled up to the door, hoping that whatever Red wanted her for would involve sitting down and would not require the presence of shoes. She raised her hand to knock but it swung open dramatically before she could complete the action. Liz gaped at the sight of Red standing in the doorway in a state of near panic.

“Lizzy!”

“Red?” she replied uncertainly, dropping her hand. “Are you okay?”

“I was starting to worry that I would need to send out a search party for you or something equally ridiculous. Why won’t you ever spare me this worry by simply answering my messages?”

“Uh—”

“Never mind. Come in, come in.”

He stepped back from the door to usher her inside. She limped awkwardly past him and he closed the door behind her.

“Why are you limping, Lizzy? Have you hurt yourself?” he asked in concern, looking suspiciously at her feet.

“No, not really. I’m just trying to break in a new pair of boots and my feet haven’t quite forgiven me yet.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Actually, do you mind if I take them off? I’ve been looking forward to it all day.”

“Please do,” he said graciously. “You know there’s no need to stand on ceremony with me, Lizzy.”

“I don’t feel like standing on _anything_ right now, Red, but thanks all the same.” She smiled at him as she spoke, tugging her boots off with some difficulty. “Much better,” she moaned when her feet were free at last. “So, what do you need?”

“Well, it’s less a question of what I _need_ and more a question of what I _want_ ,” Red said cheerfully as he helped her out of her coat.

“Oh?” Liz said uneasily. “And what do you want?”

He smiled enigmatically at her and wandered away without answering. Liz stifled a sigh and trailed after him down the hallway, wondering what he was up to and beginning to feel intrigued, quite against her will. He paused in front of a door that she thought must lead to the kitchen, judging by the smell of food emanating from behind it. She looked at him expectantly.

“Red, what—”

“Lizzy, I know you’ve had a particularly frustrating week and I am sorry that I haven’t been around more to help.”

“It’s fine,” she interjected quickly, slightly embarrassed.

“No, it isn’t. I’ve wanted to see you every day this week and just haven’t been able to find the time. A dreadful state of affairs, really.”

“Devastating,” Liz said dryly. “So, you just wanted to see me?”

“For starters, yes,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eye, and she found herself hoping that the dim lighting in the hallway would conceal her sudden, inconvenient blush. “As I was saying, I know you’ve had a frustrating week, undoubtedly made worse by being deprived of my company – now, Lizzy, don’t snort like that.”

“I’m sorry, Red, but are you approaching your point at all? It’s just that my feet are still quite sore, and—”

“Patience, Elizabeth,” he chastised gently as he finally opened the door and gestured her inside.

She gasped in surprise as she looked around the room, she couldn’t help it. The kitchen was much bigger than she expected, dominated by enormous, gleaming appliances that she could only guess at the use of. It had clearly been designed to serve as a dining room as well because there was a table set up to one side. Red gently placed his hand on her back and guided her towards it. She took in the white tablecloth, candles and expensive-looking dinner set in something akin to shock, wondering what on earth had prompted this sudden display of hospitality. She jumped slightly when Red placed both of his hands on her shoulders and spoke softly into her ear.

“I wanted to see you tonight so that we could both forget the frustrations for a little while and instead enjoy a little _satisfaction_.”

He placed such a pointed emphasis on the last word that she glanced at him sharply.

“And what satisfaction are you offering?” Liz asked, slightly annoyed at how breathy her voice had become.

“I thought we could start with culinary satisfaction and then go from there. I seem to recall you asking me to teach you piano.”

Liz laughed at the allusion to her last visit to this particular safe-house. Things had been so different then. She’d still been married to Tom, was still relatively new at the post office and still didn’t know what Red wanted from her. Well, that was one thing that hadn’t changed, at least.

“The piano? Do you really think there’s any satisfaction to be had in that doomed endeavour?” she asked playfully as he stepped away from her to pull out one of the chairs.

“I am confident that we will both feel the satisfaction of a job well done.” He smiled encouragingly at her. “Or, failing that, the satisfaction of making small steps towards that goal. Please, sit.”

“Very small steps, if my previous experience with learning the piano is any indication,” Liz said, laughing, as she sat in the chair he held out for her. “This looks amazing, Red. I hope you didn’t go to too much trouble.”

“It’s no trouble, Lizzy,” he replied as he took a seat across from her. “I do, in fact, get a great deal of satisfaction from coaxing you to eat a proper meal on occasion.”

“So, if I eat this _proper_ meal, surely you won’t require any further satisfaction from me this evening?”

“Again, I would remind you that this is more a matter of _want_ than need, and there is really no limit where that is concerned.”

Liz forced herself to maintain eye contact, knowing that he was probably seeking to unnerve her.

“Well then,” she murmured after a moment of charged silence, “I put myself in your hands for the evening.” She suited action to word and took his hand across the small table. “I can’t wait to see just what you want from me.”

She caught the small flicker of surprise in his eyes and smirked in triumph.

“Lizzy, I have waited so long for you to put yourself in my hands, but you have always been curiously resistant to the idea.”

“I suppose I was never sufficiently motivated before.” She tilted her head to one side and regarded the dishes spread out in front of them. “If I’d known all the _satisfaction_ on offer, I may have relented sooner.” She smiled at him as he started to pour a glass of wine for her. “There is something to be said for the _anticipation_ of satisfaction, I suppose, but it’s really not sustainable. You need something _real_ eventually.”

“Very true,” Red agreed, pouring himself a glass of wine before raising it in her direction. “A toast, to something real.”

She clinked her glass against his and took a small sip. It was delicious, of course, and probably matched perfectly to their meal. She watched him in silence as he removed the covers from the food with a flourish and wondered if this was wise. They had shared plenty of meals before, but never with so many date-like connotations. She was single now, as well, which was sure to change their dynamic. What did he really want from her? Would he expect her to—

“Lizzy,” he said gently, “you’re thinking too much.”

She huffed a little and threw a half-hearted glare in his direction.

“Just enjoy yourself tonight. You have nothing to fear from me.”

“Nothing?” she asked uncertainly.

“Well, how scared are you of piano lessons?”

She laughed out loud at that, grateful for the break in tension.

“It’s you who should be scared of that! I’m not the ideal pupil.”

“We’ll manage somehow,” he assured her. “Now, eat.”

* * * * *

Two hours later, Liz was fighting the effects of a large meal of deliciously rich food on her tired body. She was feeling so relaxed, she barely even had the energy to contradict Red when he launched into one of his more outrageous stories, she just laughed at his enthusiasm and let him talk. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed a meal so much and was a little disconcerted at how easy it was to spend an evening with a man who was usually most notable for his ability to drive her crazy. Liz stopped Red as he made to pour her another glass of wine.

“Red, no,” she protested weakly. “I’ve had enough to drink. I need to drive home, remember.”

“Coffee, then? Or some water?”

“Later,” she said, taking hold of his arm as he made to move past her. “I can’t fit anything else in right now.”

He glanced down at where she held him and then back up at her face, momentarily lost for words. Liz was confused, it’s not as if she’d never touched him before. She let go of his arm and looked down at the table, blushing.

“Lizzy,” he said quietly, “look at me.”

She kept her eyes downcast and he pulled his chair closer to hers and sat down right in front of her, twisting her chair around so that they were facing each other properly. She made no effort to either assist him or stop him. He took her hands in his and squeezed them gently.

“How about those piano lessons?” she said in an unnaturally cheerful voice, still not looking at him. “Can’t wait to get started on those!”

“The piano can wait, Lizzy. It’s not going anywhere.” Red said, ignoring her blatant attempt to divert his attention. “But what’s brought about this sudden change?”

“What change?” she said evasively, meeting his eye at last.

“You’ve been relatively relaxed this whole time and now suddenly you look set to jump out of your skin. What’s bothering you, Lizzy?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I didn’t expect to enjoy—” She broke off, a little embarrassed. “This is new for me, Red. I don’t know what to do.”

“You didn’t think you’d enjoy my company, is that it?”

“Something like that. It’s like I feel like I shouldn’t enjoy your company, not that I don’t. Does that make sense?”

“Not really, no,” he said bluntly and Liz snorted. “Why shouldn’t you enjoy yourself?”

Liz just shook her head and looked down again.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you want, Lizzy?”

“I don’t know,” she repeated miserably.

He released her hand and cupped her cheek gently, encouraging her to look at him again. She sucked in a shocked breath at the rush of desire she felt. She couldn’t remember ever being this close to him before, she was almost overwhelmed by it.

“Red,” she whispered and moved closer, her eyes drifting shut. “I want—”

The sudden slamming of the front door halted their movement, their faces inches apart, both breathing heavily.

“Raymond?” Dembe called out and Red sighed in defeat, leaning his forehead against Liz’s. She opened her eyes and smiled ruefully as Dembe entered the room a moment later.

“Agent Keen?” he greeted uncertainly.

“Hello, Dembe,” she said quietly.

“I hope I’m not interrupting—” he said, sounding uncharacteristically amused.

“Whatever gave you that impression?” Red replied sarcastically, not looking at him. “Dembe, would you give us a moment?”

“No need,” Liz said, finally separating herself from Red and sitting back in her chair. “I was just about to leave anyway.”

Red looked at her in shock and she tilted her head at him in consideration as Dembe excused himself quietly, closing the door behind him.

“I need to go, Red,” she insisted.

“That may be what you need, but what do you want?” he asked quietly.

She smiled at him and stood up. She felt the rush of desire again as she looked down at him, but she knew she had to leave now. She didn’t want to do anything she’d regret. She couldn’t tell him the truth. She couldn’t tell him that right at that moment, all she wanted was to settle herself in his lap and kiss him for hours. She was barely able to admit that to herself, let alone say it out loud.

“I guess we’ll find out,” she said, tracing a finger down his face. “Some other time.”

“Some other time,” he echoed, grasping her hand and holding it against his cheek firmly. She felt a little thrill of pleasure run through her and she fought to regain control of herself once more.

“Thanks for dinner, Red,” she whispered. “I had a wonderful time.”

“Lizzy—”

“Goodnight, Red.”

He sighed deeply and released her hand.

“Goodnight, Lizzy.”


	2. No going back

As Liz drove back home, she maintained an ongoing inner monologue of furious arguments with herself. She went from being frustrated to embarrassed to relieved and then back to frustrated. At first, she was convinced that she’d made the right decision, but she soon began to question it and by the time she walked through the door of her apartment, she was beginning to think she’d made a terrible mistake. She’d come so close to giving in, what had stopped her? Was there really any harm in admitting to Red that she wanted him?

Liz shut her apartment door and leant against it, sighing deeply. She let her bag drop heavily to the ground and then leaned down wearily to wrench her boots off. She walked slowly to the kitchen, stripping off her coat and leaving it hanging over the back of the couch. She opened the fridge and stared listlessly at the contents for a minute before she realised what she was doing. She shut the door and moved to get a glass of water, sipping it pensively as she looked around the room in search of a more lasting distraction. She was too wired to sleep but didn’t want to encourage the destructive train of thought that was clamouring at the back of her head. She refilled her glass and wandered over to the TV, hoping to find a suitably mindless movie she could pretend to watch.

Liz flicked through a few channels before she settled on a movie that she’d seen bits and pieces of but had never watched in full. She thought it was a romantic comedy, but it could be a political docudrama or psychological thriller for all she cared. She kept her eyes glued to the screen, but her mind was on the other side of town. She wondered what Red was doing right then and whether he was thinking of her. What had he said to Dembe to explain how he’d found them? She should have stayed with him and at least spoken about what was troubling her. She gained nothing by always running away, she’d need to face him again eventually, anyway.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when her phone started ringing. She had zoned out completely at some point and the noise made her blink her eyes to focus back on the screen. It seemed like she was doomed to never see this whole movie, she had no idea what was going on and didn’t even recognise the characters currently on the screen. She muted the TV and answered the phone without bothering to look at who was calling. She knew who it would be, anyway.

“Hello?”

“Lizzy.”

“Hello, Red,” she said, smiling in spite of herself. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you again tonight.”

“I am devilishly unpredictable,” Red replied cheerfully. “I was just calling to make sure you got home safe.”

“Perfectly safe, thanks.”

“Good.”

There was a natural pause at this point and Liz didn’t know how to fill it without being awkward or babbling about something stupid. She cast around for safe topic of conversation.

“Lizzy—”

“Red—”

They spoke at the same time and then both stopped to allow the other to continue.

“Sorry,” Liz said after another moment of silence. “What were you going to say?”

“I wanted to ask if you were alright,” Red said quietly. “You left in such a hurry.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“It’s not a problem, Lizzy, as long as you’re alright.”

“I’m fine,” Liz lied unconvincingly. “I just thought that with Dembe coming back, it was a good time to leave.”

_Pathetic. Get it together, Liz._

Liz rolled her eyes and was immensely grateful that Red wasn’t there with her.

“Very wise,” Red murmured solemnly. “Dembe is such an insufferable busy-body, it’s much better not to have any conversation with him even in the neighbourhood, let alone the same house.”

“Red,” Liz began, laughing, “you know that’s not—”

“No, Lizzy, you’re absolutely correct. I can’t believe I didn’t realise it sooner. Perhaps it’s time for me to seek out a new bodyguard, someone with a little more discretion.”

“Red!” she groaned. “That’s not—”

“Had I but known that _Dembe_ was the main barrier to our relationship, I would have dismissed him months ago.”

“Very funny,” Liz said grumpily, getting up from the couch and putting her phone on speaker. She wandered over to her bedroom with the sound of Red’s laughter echoing around the room.

“Dembe was almost insufferably amused at my predicament this evening, by the way. You left before I could serve dessert and I was forced to share it with him instead, gossiping the whole time.”

Liz laughed at the picture he painted. The thought of Dembe gossiping about anyone was so ridiculous it almost made her forget what had happened.

“I’m sorry I left in such a hurry,” she said when she stopped laughing. “I would have loved to try the dessert.”

“I will accept your apology on one condition.”

Liz was on the verge of telling him that she didn’t _care_ if he accepted her apology or not, but instead said, “And what condition is that?”

“Are you going to tell me the real reason you left so quickly?”

“You know the real reason. I mean, you’re a smart guy, surely you can guess.”

“You flatter me, Lizzy, but I would like to hear it from you, all the same. There have been too many misunderstandings between us already—”

“Understatement of the century,” Liz muttered, putting the phone down on her dresser and starting to take her work clothes off.

“And I would like to avoid all but the most essential arguments between us, so please enlighten me.”

Liz stopped dead in her tracks, torn between the desire to confront the situation directly and ignoring it entirely out of self-preservation. She slipped her shirt over her head and examined her reflection in the mirror critically.

“Lizzy?”

“Hmm?”

She trailed her hands thoughtfully down her chest, cupping her breasts and then tracing circular patterns on her stomach before bringing them to rest on her hips. She remembered the sudden flash of desire she had felt with him tonight. It hadn’t been the first time she’d felt that way about him, but it was the first time it had happened when she could act upon her desire. Theoretically, of course.

“Are you going to answer me?”

“Yes,” she said quietly, unbuttoning her jeans and sliding them slowly down her legs. “I am.”

Red was silent on the other end of the phone, for which Liz was grateful. This wasn’t going to be an easy conversation for her to have and it was better if it felt more like she was thinking out loud than speaking to someone who mattered so much to her. She took off her bra and put on a comfortable shirt to sleep in.

“I don’t really know how to explain what happened,” she admitted after a moment as she started to brush her hair. “Tonight was the first time in a long time that I actually thought—”

She stopped, already struggling to explain herself.

“Thought what, Lizzy?”

“I haven’t thought about what I’ve really wanted in such a long time,” she said in a rush, “that when it happened tonight, when I was with you and realised that I wanted—” She heaved a sigh, trying to steel herself to continue. “I don’t know how to just _want_ things anymore, Red. I don’t know how to justify what I want.”

“Who are you trying to justify it to?”

“I – I don’t know. Myself? The people at the post office?” She sighed deeply. “You.”

“Elizabeth, you do _not_ need to justify—”

“Red, please,” she took the phone off speaker and put it to her ear, “let me try to explain.”

He made a noise clearly signalling his agreement and waited for her to continue. She tried to gather her thoughts so that she could make a coherent argument but gave it up after a minute of silence.

“The thing is, my life has changed so much in the last year. Some of it for the better but a lot of it for the worse.”

“I—”

“Not because I wish that Tom was still in my life,” she hastened to add, “and not because I wish that I didn’t know the truth about him, but because before all this happened, my life was simpler. Happier.”

“Lizzy—”

“But it wasn’t real!” she interrupted him. “None of it was real. My whole life was a lie, Red. All of it. And I _wanted_ the lie. I closed my eyes to the truth because I _wanted_ the lie.”

She fought back the tears she could feel coming on and couldn’t speak for a moment, breathing deeply while she tried to regain control of herself. She desperately wanted to avoid this conversation, it felt like the last tiny part of herself that she’d managed to keep private was about to be laid bare. The humiliation was public, but the grief was mercifully private. She really didn’t want to discuss Tom, especially not with Red, but she couldn’t leave this unsaid.

“I was scared, Red. That’s why I left. I knew that I wanted—” She stumbled over her words a little before continuing, “I wanted something more from you, something different to what we’ve had in the past and it – it terrified me.”

Red didn’t say anything in response to this and Liz put her hand to her mouth, desperately trying to muffle the sobs that she couldn’t hold back anymore. It was a relief to say this out loud, but she still couldn’t quite believe that this was really happening.

She felt like she’d been hiding away for months, punishing herself for her past. Punishing herself for being a victim. Because that’s what she was. Tom victimised her when he deceived her, when he tricked her into a fake marriage. The realisation hit her so hard that she sat down suddenly on the bed, stunned speechless for the moment. She'd never considered just how damaging her marriage had been. She'd been affected by it, of course, but she'd never allowed herself to truly think about what it had done to her.

“Lizzy?” Red said, concern in his voice.

“I’m alright, Red,” she assured him, wiping away her tears. “I’ve just never really thought – that is, I just – I’m allowed to _want_ things again, Red. I don’t have to punish myself anymore.”

“Punish yourself?” he cried incredulously. “Whatever for?”

“Nothing,” she said with a teary laugh. “This is my stuff, I just need to work through it.”

After a pause, Red said in a low, teasing voice, “That may be what you need—”

“But what do I want?” she finished for him. “That hasn’t changed, Red.”

“What do you want, Lizzy?”

“Well,” she began with great solemnity, “I really want someone to teach me piano.”

Red laughed at that and Liz let out a relieved breath. They had successfully navigated the treacherous waters of her emotional devastation and they were back on relatively solid ground.

“I suppose I could assist you in that endeavour, provide lessons, intensive tutoring and the like,” Red said cheerfully. “But you must promise to stay for the full course, Lizzy. Once we go down this path, there will be no going back.”

She smiled as she lay back in bed, silently acknowledging his point. They would both need to walk this road together, or not at all.

“Of course, Red. I’ll stay as long as you want me.”

_No going back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Unexpected angst. Oops? I felt like I needed to acknowledge what Liz's relationship with Tom would do to her in future relationships, especially right after the breakdown at the end of Season 1. One more chapter after this one, it should be up soon.
> 
> Thank you, as always, to anyone who takes the time to read/leave kudos/comment!


	3. Of want and need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was no point pretending any more, she was attracted to him and she was unattached. They were both adults, she was allowed to want things. She was allowed to want him.

Liz woke up the next morning with an almost immediate sense of delicious anticipation. She savoured it in silence for a moment, blinking contentedly up at the ceiling. She hadn’t made any concrete plans with Red for the day, but she was almost certain that she’d see him at some point. She half-expected a phone call from him throughout the course of the morning, but she’d already decided that she would go around to see him anyway. There was no point pretending any more, she was attracted to him and she was unattached. They were both adults, she was _allowed_ to want things. She was allowed to want _him_.

With fresh resolve, she reached for her phone and tried to think of an appropriate opener. Should she play it casual? Flirty? Blunt? As she dialled Red’s number, she thought about maybe being glib or jokey, making light of what happened the day before. She could pretend to want to discuss a Blacklister or ask his advice on some suitably innocent venture. She was almost convinced that her best course of action would be to hang up the damn phone and write some notes on what to say when Red answered the call.

“Good morning, Lizzy.”

Liz felt her cheeks flush at the sound of his voice and all thought rapidly deserted her.

“Good morning, Red,” she breathed. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Not at all. I was just conducting a breakfast meeting. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Liz felt her mouth go dry as her heart sunk.

“Oh, it’s nothing important, I can call you back when you’re done with your meeting.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lizzy. The meeting can wait, if you’ll just give me one moment.”

She nodded her head even though Red couldn’t see her and breathed a sigh of relief at her brief reprieve as she heard Red excuse himself and move away from the others. She heard a door close quietly and braced herself to continue the conversation.

“I’m terribly sorry about that, Lizzy.”

“It’s fine,” she replied quickly. “Are you sure this isn’t a bad time? I can call you back later—”

“It’s always a good time for you, Lizzy,” Red said gallantly, and Liz couldn’t stop the fond smile that spread across her face. “Now what can I do for you?”

Liz took a deep breath and tried to recapture the anticipation she’d felt when she woke up.

“As you know, I’ve had a frustrating week,” she began, injecting false confidence into her voice.

“Oh?”

“Undoubtedly made worse by being deprived of your company,” she continued playfully.

“Undoubtedly.”

“And I’m looking for someone to – uh—”

She faltered at that and squeezed her eyes shut in embarrassment. _Come on, Liz_.

“Yes?” he said encouragingly.

“Well—” She stopped again, unsure of how to express herself properly.

“Tell me what you want, Lizzy.”

She smiled in relief.

“I was looking for someone who might be able to help me with that.”

“Really?” Red murmured and Liz knew that he was smiling as well. “Did you have someone in particular in mind?”

“Yes, I did,” Liz replied, her confidence genuine now. “And I wanted to know if you were free tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“Tonight,” she confirmed. “I was wondering if you were up for a piano lesson?”

* * * * *

Liz spent the rest of the day trying to convince herself that it wasn’t a big deal. She was just going around to his place to have a relaxing, enjoyable evening with him. Nothing else. Certainly nothing to get worked up about. She wasn’t remotely convinced by this argument, but she kept it up anyway. She told herself that it wasn’t anything to worry about as she carefully washed her hair and shaved her legs. She told herself again as she slipped into a coordinating set of bra and underwear, and again when she spent 45 minutes trying to decide what to wear. She kept the mantra going as she carefully applied her makeup and put her hair up, then took it down, then put it up again. She didn’t want it to seem like she _expected_ anything, she just wanted to give off an air of effortless elegance. Not that she’d thought about it much. It wasn’t a big deal, after all.

On the drive over to his place, she checked her phone obsessively, somehow terrified that he would cancel the plans they’d made or that she’d get called into work. She knew that both of these scenarios were unlikely, given that Red seemed perfectly happy to see her tonight and she wouldn’t get called into work unless he provided them with a much more interesting case than the one they’d been working on, but she couldn’t stop that nagging little voice in the back of her mind telling her that something would go wrong.

She arrived at Red’s safe-house without incident and was just walking up to the door as Dembe was exiting. He smiled at her in welcome and she blushed, thinking about how he had found them the night before.

“Good evening, Agent Keen.”

“Hey, Dembe. Going out?”

“Yes, Raymond has allowed me some time off. I will go to visit my daughter.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” Liz said awkwardly. “Will you be gone long?”

“Do not worry, Elizabeth,” Dembe said, smiling knowingly. “I will not interrupt you this time.”

She exhaled loudly in relief and blushed even more at Dembe’s amused look.

“I wish you a pleasant evening, Agent Keen.”

“Thanks,” she murmured. “Same to you.”

He grinned at her and walked slowly down the street as Liz slipped silently into the house, closing the door behind her with a soft click. She could hear Red playing the piano again and checked the time quickly as she hung up her coat. She was a little early, so he probably wasn’t expecting her just yet. Smiling to herself, she moved quietly down the hallway and into the room that she knew held the piano. She paused in the doorway, listening to him play. She had learned by now that the piano was almost always a sign of some inner turmoil. He never seemed to play when he was happy or content. The piano was the soundtrack to his misery. Faltering slightly at the thought that he was unhappy with their meeting tonight, she reminded herself that it wasn’t a big deal. Just two adults sharing an evening together.

“Hey,” she said quietly and smiled when he spun around quickly, clearly in shock. “Don’t you ever play anything cheerful?”

“Lizzy,” he breathed. His eyes darted quickly down her body and then back up to her face. He swallowed audibly and she smirked. “When did you arrive?”

“Just now. Don’t stop playing, Red. I want to listen to you.”

“You want to listen to me?” he echoed disbelievingly. “Wonders never cease.”

“I have no objection to listening to you _play_ , Red. It’s the talking I can’t stand.” She smiled at him as she spoke and wandered over to the sofa. “Play me something, Red.”

“If you are willing to listen then perhaps it is a good time to start your first lesson.”

“Not yet, Red,” she said, taking a seat on the sofa. “I just want to listen.”

He sighed and started to play again, and Liz smiled when she realised that he was playing something a little more upbeat. She leaned down and pulled off her shoes, lining them up neatly under the table before drawing her feet up next to her. She was glad he was facing away from her, she needed a few moments to compose herself. She’d seen the look in his eyes once he’d gotten over the surprise of seeing her there, that same flash of desire she’d seen the night before. It made her feel a little more confident, but she was still treading new ground. She knew that she wanted him, but she didn’t know how to go about progressing toward that goal. Red was usually the one seeking to further their relationship, but he had made it abundantly clear this time that it was entirely up to her.

Liz listened in silence through two songs before she got up the courage to approach him. She stood up slowly and began to move stealthily towards the piano.

“Lizzy?” Red said questioningly, faltering in his playing and she sighed in disappointment. _Caught_. He glanced over at her with a raised eyebrow. “Ready for your lesson?”

“Oh, I’m ready, Red,” she said sincerely as she strolled towards him.

“Good,” he croaked, watching the way her hips swayed as she approached. He cleared his throat and continued in a more normal voice, “Shall we start with something simple? Or are you up for something a little more complicated?”

She shrugged as if it were a matter of supreme indifference to her.

“Scooch over,” she said when she reached him, gesturing at him to make room on the piano stool. He moved over for her wordlessly and she sat down very close to him. “Much better,” she said.

“Comfortable?” Red said dryly as he placed his hands back on the keys. She nodded happily and he smiled back. “Good. Now, concentrate. Follow what my hands are doing and ask me as many questions as you want.”

“As many as I want?” Liz joked, leaning against his side. “How much time have you got?”

“Allow me to rephrase that,” Red replied with a grin. “You may ask me as many music-related questions as you want.”

“Spoilsport,” Liz whispered in his ear. “Don’t you want to answer my questions?”

Red shivered slightly at her proximity and said, “Focus, Lizzy.”

“Oh, I’m very focussed, Red.”

“On the piano.”

She shrugged dismissively and sat up straight again.

“I’m listening,” she said sulkily.

He started playing a simple tune but much slower than he usually would and she smirked. More fool him if he thought he was going to teach her a damn thing on the piano. She started shifting closer to him again and he turned to look questioningly at her. She smiled innocently back and stopped moving for a few more notes. When he seemed to be entirely engrossed by the music once more, she placed her hand gently on his knee. She felt him jerk slightly in surprise, but he continued to play. Over the course of the next two songs, she gradually moved it higher and higher on his leg until she was almost running out of thigh.

“Lizzy,” Red said, his voice strained, “if you’re ever going to learn, you need to concentrate.”

“But this isn’t about what I _need_ , Red,” Liz said gently, bringing her hand from its place on his thigh to cup his face, encouraging him to turn to her. “It’s about what I want.”

“And what is that?”

“What do I want?”

“Yes,” he said sincerely. “Tell me what you want, Lizzy.”

“I want to find a way to be happy again,” she murmured, looking him straight in the eye, not daring to look away for fear that she would try to run again. “I want to feel desirable again. I want to be desired by someone. I want someone to want me, and not just for some professional advantage or personal vendetta.”

She paused at that and waited to see if Red would say anything, but he seemed almost too stunned to speak. His eyes were shining bright and his mouth was slightly open. She traced a finger lightly over his lips, watching its progress with interest.

“I want to kiss you, Red,” she whispered, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “I want to kiss you _everywhere_.” She brought both of her hands to rest against his neck before moving gently across his shoulders. “I want to kiss you over and over and _over_ again until you almost can’t stand it anymore.” She rested her hands on his chest. “I want you to beg me and to tease me until I beg you. I want to hear you moan,” she drew the word out on a moan of her own, “I want to hear you _scream_. I want to feel you above me and below me. I want you all around me. I want to forget where I end and you begin, even if just for a moment.”

“Lizzy—”

“I want to make love to you, Red,” she said huskily, bringing her hands back up to cup his face again. “I want to _fuck_ you.” She started to bring his face toward her, but slowly enough that he would have time to object if he wanted to. “I want to do it slow and sweet in your bed and hard and fast against the wall.” He closed his eyes at that and she watched the flickering of his eyelids with a kind of desperation. “I want you to bend me over your desk or lift me onto this piano,” she continued breathlessly, his face almost too close to hers now. “I want to have a quickie in the shower before work and I want to ride you hard in the backseat of your car on the way home.”

“Lizzy—” he gasped. “Please.”

“I want _you_ , Red.”

She paused again, waiting for his response. Desperately hoping that hadn’t misread this situation. She didn’t have a back-up plan if he wasn’t prepared to go down this road with her. He still didn’t open his eyes, but he made no effort to move away from her either. 

“So, I guess there’s only one question that remains now,” Liz said slowly. “Do you want me, Red?”

His eyes flew open and he let his breath out in a laugh that made something inside Liz clench in sudden dread.

“Elizabeth,” he said in a tone of near-wonder, “I _need_ you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for this one! Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read/leave kudos/comment!

**Author's Note:**

> I anticipate that this story will be either two or three chapters and hope to have the next one up soon.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read/leave kudos/review. I love those little notifications, they really make my day!


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